I Will Never Forget
by IntoTheDeep27
Summary: She wanted to be strong, so he trained with her. She wanted to know love, so he loved her. But when she wanted to be safe, he failed her. She wanted to be protected and he couldn't protect her. This is the untold story of Tobirama's first―and only―love. [Hiatus]
1. In The Shadows - Chapter One

_**QUICK LANGUAGE LESSON:**_ **Ani-ue** and **ane-ue** means older brother and older sister, **chichi-ue** and **haha-ue** means father and mother.

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DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS AND PLOTS. I ONLY OWN MY OC AND ANY OTHER OCS.

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 **Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching waiting for something**  
 **Feel me touch me heal me, come take me higher.**

 _The Rasmus_

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 **In The Shadows**

She loves him for as long as she can remember.

They grow up fighting together, rivals ( _but best friends_ ) for the Clan Head's attention. She wants the Head's attention simply because she is striving to become a kunoichi, a role that is not looked well upon for women of her clan ( _which she thinks is a stupid tradition_ ). He wants the Head's attention because he is his son, never able to live up to his father's expectations and always shadowed by his eldest brother. She always wonders why he never hates his _ani-ue_ for that―she hates her eldest sister for being the 'perfect' daughter, a daughter that she will never become ( _nor wishes to be_ ). So she asks him this constantly, but the answer always remains the same:

" _Because he is my brother, and because I love him_."

She wants to scream at him for this reason. How? _How_ can he love a sibling that he is compared to every single day? She sees the looks that her _haha-ue_ and _chichi-ue_ give her when they think she is not looking and she sees the disappointment in their eyes. They wonder what they did wrong, why she did not follow her _ane-ue's_ footsteps. So she stops viewing them as her parents and only as her guardians but secretly inside her heart, she is jealous. She sees the way his _ani-ue_ treats his siblings―he treats them with love. And times like this, she wonders why she is so different―why her _ane-ue_ hates and avoids her. Why is she not able to become a normal girl, one that braids their friend's hairs and talks about their future husbands? Why does her own family hate her and want nothing to do with her? Then she realizes that there is _nothing_ wrong with her―in fact, she is better than those girls because they do not know what real life is.

So then she realizes that she's better off being a disappointment to her family than being forced to be something she's not.

* * *

She is twelve when she takes her first life and he is there afterward, comforting her.

"That m-man, he could have had a family!" She screams into his chest, the image of the dead man fresh in her mind. The blood that splatters onto her face after she stabs him, the scent of said blood. It drives her crazy.

"He probably did." He says.

"I could have killed a father, a husband!"

"You probably did." He grabs her hands and forces her to look at him. "But if you didn't kill him, he would have killed one of us. He would have killed you or me. So in the end, you did what you had to do." She remembers this day in great detail, not only because it is the day of her first kill but because it is the day she starts to view him differently. His red eyes look at her plain brown eyes ( _hers still filled with tears_ ) and there is a fierce determination within them. "You are a kunoichi of this clan. Don't ever forget this." These words help her come to terms with the dead man. It may take her months before she accepts that she took a life, that she is now a killer ( _a murderer_ ), but these words help keep her going nonetheless.

But she still cries and he holds her while whispering to her: " _I'm here Akari._ "

She asks the next day why he bothered to help her and he answers her straightforward with a shrug. "You would do the same for me."

She stands there, dumbfounded, not expecting those words. If she is mature or older, she would have understood the meanings behind them. But she is twelve, still immature and easily embarrassed, so she retorts with the first thought that runs through her mind. "No, I won't!"

But she is wrong. Three days later, there is news of his youngest brother's death and she is now the one who does the comforting. She holds him the best she can ( _because he is so much taller than her)_ and does what he did for her. She tells him that he is a shinobi, who must be strong for himself and for others. She rubs his back and cries along with him, the pain that radiates from his loss seeping into her.

She never says it will be okay because it will not, and she knows it. So she says the words that she hopes comforts him like it comforted her days ago.

" _I'm here Tobirama._ "

It does not take long for her to see the changes in her friend. He closes himself off to everyone, even his only living brother. She wants to tell him that she still cares for him ( _that she thinks he is being stupid, that she is still here)_ but when she sees the coldness in his eyes, she can't help but stay quiet. He scares her and this ultimately puts a wedge in their friendship. They stop talking, yet this is also when she starts to fall for him.

She is 14.

Her heartbeat quickens whenever he is near and she cannot help but feel flustered whenever they talk. She never admits it to herself because if she did, it would ruin whatever semblance to friendship they had. So she pushes these mysterious feelings down, to a place where she will not feel them anymore ( _not for a few months anyways)._ Although they still remain friends, it is not the same. There is an awkwardness between them, something that she does not know how to fix ( _and has nothing to do with her secret)_. Little by little, she feels as the distance between them gets further and further, to where she thinks there is nothing that she can do to repair their broken friendship. However, when she is 15 it all changes again.

Being a kunoichi in her clan is hard. They are ridiculed, underestimated, and disrespected ( _she hates it)_. However, her determination as a kunoichi is tested when a group of five older shinobi confronts her of her job.

"Why do you even bother?" The short one asks her. She just sighs and turns around to face him.

"Because it is my job." She says. "Now if you excuse me, I have somewhere to be." She still bows ( _she doesn't want to but has to because they are older than her)_.

But before she can turn around, the leader of the group grabs her arm and looks at her with a sneer. "I don't like that tone of yours."

She pulls her arm away and meets his eyes. "I'm sorry if I came out as disrespectful. However, I must leave."

"To go where?" Another asks. "A mission? _Please_ , as if you can finish something like that without an _actual_ shinobi."

( _Deep breaths_ ) She forces a smile onto her face and it is obviously a fake. "I can finish a mission just as well as an average shinobi simply because I am one." She ends with that and turns around ( _those sexist bastards_ ). What she does not realize is that she just breaks an important rule that all shinobi must never break:

 _1\. Never turn your back towards the enemy_.

Someone grabs her hair and pulls her between the two buildings that they are near. They think she is weak, that she does not know how to fight. She grabs the arm of the person who pulls on her hair and with a boost of chakra, pushes him into the wall before punching him in the face ( _she feels the bones in his nose break under her fist and oh the satisfaction)_. All at once, the group of men surrounds her and attacks her.

She does not go down without a fight. She manages to knock out two of the men and severely hurt another before she is overwhelmed and pushed to the ground. On reflex, she curls up and protects her head as the men around her kick and attack her ( _the pain_ ). She stifles her screams because she knows that that is what they want to hear ( _oh Kami the pain_ ). She keeps her eyes shut in hopes that they will soon end their torment ( _why won't someone help her?_ ). Tears may run down her face but she remains quiet, and it angers the group even more ( _how long must she endure?_ ).

Her chest feels as if it is on fire.

( _She can't breathe_ ).

She cannot feel her arms.

( _Why won't they stop?_ ).

It feels as if knives are digging into her back.

( _Why her?_ ).

Suddenly, there are no kicks or punches. She hears the sound of a fist hitting flesh, but she is too scared to look. "S-Stop!" The voice that belongs to the leader begs.

"No." She opens her eyes once to see who came to her rescue ( _or perhaps they too want to hurt her_ ) but she closes her eyes a second later because of the pain. She does not know how long it takes ( _although it feels like forever_ ) before she feels a presence next to her. They place their hands gently on her arms but she whimpers in fear of another attack. "You are okay now." They say. "I'm going to pick you up now." She does not respond in fear of the cries she holds back being released. As gently as they can, the person picks her up and _oh kami the pain_. She cries out and they mutter a curse before taking her to the clan doctor. It is not long before the tendrils of darkness pull her down into the comfort of unconscious bliss, but the image of her savior never leaves her mind. He stands in front of her body with his fist raised, preparing to punch one of her perpetrators. The white of his hair, the red of his eyes―she cannot help but feel safe despite the pain she is in.

He stands by her side as the doctor begins his healing and she hears the guilt in his voice, but she still feels safe because of what he says.

" _I'm so sorry but I'm here now Akari. I'm here._ "

She does not forgive him ( _at least not yet_ ) but she still smiles in spite of the pain. She grabs his hand and holds on ( _it drives the pain away_ ). She does not loosen her grip, even when exhaustion hits her.

She does not let go and he doesn't either.

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 **A/N:** _Welcome to my newest addition to my stories! For new readers, hi! I'm IntoTheDeep (obviously) and this is the fifth story I've written so far. I have one fully completed story and another that will probably end sometime next month (and they're both Naruto so) you guys should go read it if you can! The completed one is a Kakashi/Oc (but be warned, that was my first story and let's just say that the story line and plot are something I'm not quite proud of) and the other mostly completed story is a Tobirama/Oc._

 _For returning readers (like the ones who already know me) I'M SO SORRY, I SWEAR I WILL UPDATE_ _ **LOOKING INTO HIS EYES**_ _AND_ _ **THE FATE OF US**_ _SOON. I PROMISE. I'VE JUST BEEN SO OVERWHELMED WITH SCHOOL SHIT AND JUST SOME PERSONAL THINGS._

 _Okay, so this story this story won't be too long, probably around three chapters (four at most). It's another Tobirama/Oc story but OH WELL. My obsession for this man knows no boundaries lol._

 _I hope you enjoy this story and any future chapters so please do review and follow/fav. this story! It means a lot to me!_

 _Until next time!_


	2. Ashes of Eden - Chapter Two

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS AND PLOTS. I ONLY OWN MY OC AND ANY OTHER OCS.

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 **Will the darkness fall upon me, when the air is growing thin?**  
 **Will the light begin to pull me to its everlasting will?**  
 **I can hear the voices haunting, there is nothing left to fear,**  
 **And I am still calling, I am still calling to you.**

 _Breaking Benjamin_

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 **Ashes of Eden**

They are both sixteen when he tells her of his arranged marriage with an Uzumaki woman. She says that she is happy for him, that she is excited for him ( _she doesn't feel this way at all though_.) She has no right to complain, not when he only views her as his friend. But when he asks if she is not bothered by it, she is confused at the look at he gives her ( _why does he look at her with hurt filled eyes?_ )

"Why would I be?" She asks. She can feel tears pooling behind her eyes but she holds it in ( _because she is an expert at hiding her emotions_.) She does not need to cry, especially over something as minuscule as this ( _she hates her emotions_.) She is a kunoichi, a person that has dealt with worse. "Tobirama, you always talked of having a family one day. You may be young but we are shinobi, we barely live out of our teen years."

"I know… It is just that–" They are interrupted by the sounds of the gates opening. They both turn around to see unfamiliar shinobi walking into the compound. Her eyes go to the whirlpool crest that is displayed on their armor and immediately, she does not want to be here.

The Uzumaki clan is here, which means his future wife is too.

She smiles as if it does not faze her when she sees the Uzumaki girl walk up to him and flirt with him ( _it does though and she wants to hurt her so bad.)_ It is not her right to complain, not when he is to marry for the sake of the clan ( _everything is always for the clan_.) She is a nobody and it seems to remain that way no matter what she does. However, the girl is only there for a few days when there is news of an attack on her clan compound. Her departure is sudden, yet expected.

"Do you think the Uzumaki Clan is okay?" She asks him a few days later.

"Of course. They know how to protect themselves." She wants to ask more but someone runs up to them and whispers something into his ear. She asks what's wrong after the messenger is gone and it takes him a few seconds to tell her. "It seems that Nobume and her entourage were attacked on the way back to her clan."

She knows that with his tone, something happened to the Uzumaki girl. "She is dead," He says. "and everyone that was with her…is too."

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She is eighteen and her heart is crying out for help. She does not know that it is and her heart does not know if it is for him or for all the lives she takes because of this accursed war ( _both, her heart must be in pain because of both_.) He asks if she is okay but her answer always remains the same:

" _Of course I am_."

However, she is not. She does not flinch when the blood of her enemy splatters over her face ( _there is blood in her mouth_.) She does not cry when her blade runs through the enemy's chest ( _it is a child_ ). She joins her clansmen when they win a battle, happy that they will see another day ( _she hates herself for laughing along with them_.) She talks to everyone as if the dead bodies around her do not bother her ( _the stench of death is everywhere_.) But after everyone is gone and she is alone, her façade breaks and she cries for the lives that will go home in a scroll to their families. She cries for the lovers that will never reunite with one another. She cries for the children that will never know the forgiveness of love. She cries for the families that will never see their child grow.

She cries for life, for knowing that she is a murderer and there is nothing that she can do to change it.

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They are walking together through the clan when his brother runs up to them. She respectfully bows to Hashirama because he is now the clan head. He needs his brother and so she walks away, towards the river that Hashirama met the famous Uchiha Madara years ago. As she sits alongs the cliff that overlooks the river, she is able to relax and let down the boundaries that she creates during the day ( _brick by brick, it crumbles_.)

( _She closes her eyes_ )

She lets the sun warm her cold body. She starts to drift off and this is when she makes her mistake ( _this is when her demons come out and haunt her_ ).

"Why did you kill me?" Her eyes fly open and she whirls around. She sees a boy who is barely ten looking at her, his skin too pale even for an Uchiha ( _why is he so familiar?_ ) She demands to know who he is, but he does not reply. "Why did you kill me?" He continues to ask. There is blood falling from his mouth and she finally realizes why he is so familiar.

She killed him a week prior to today.

"N-No…" She tells herself that he can't hurt her ( _this isn't real_.) "Stay away!" The boy steps towards her and she moves back ( _he isn't real_.)

"Why?" His lifeless eyes look at her and all she can think of is fear. With every step he takes, she sees all the lives that she has taken. The dead accumulate around him but when he takes another step, he suddenly disappears ( _along with everything else_.)

( _She opens her eyes_ )

She wakes up and sees red eyes looking down at her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She looks around, slightly disorientated. "…Huh?" The questioning look that he gives her prompts her to change her answer to a 'yes' instead.

"So this is where you disappear off to whenever I can't find you." He sits next to her and immediately, her heart starts to beat harder ( _how can he not hear her heart?_ ) But out of pure habit, she pushes these feelings down and leans against his arm, placing her head on his shoulder. She tells him that this place helps her relax, helps her escape the harsh reality of life ( _he helps too, not that she'd ever tell him_.)

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I am." She lies.

 _I'm fine._

* * *

"Leave me alone." She says, her voice is emotionless ( _she hates her life_.) She just returned from a battle and she is tired ( _too tired_.)

"Akari…"

She turns her head and walks away while she ignores the look that he gives her. She does not need his pity. She does not want to deal with anyone right now, not when the images of the battle are fresh in her mind ( _the bodies, they are everywhere_.) It does not take long for her to find her place by the river but even then she cannot calm down ( _red, all she sees is red_.) She feels the telltale burn of pressure behind her eyes and she knows that this time, she cannot keep the tears away. Almost like rain, there is a drop followed by another, until the tears do not stop. They continue ( _just like her screams_.)

"Akari?!" She hears the panic in his voice but she cannot bring herself to care. He pulls her up before bringing her into his arms and typically, this alone will calm her down ( _but not today_.) She wants to be anywhere _but_ here. "What's wrong? Please, tell me." She hears the worry in his voice ( _so different than usual._ )

"Leave me alone!" She pulls away with all her strength and runs off, not wanting to see the one man she loves more than anything on this earth. But he is not known as a powerful shinobi for nothing. He soon catches up to her and grabs her again, worried for his friend ( _something she'll only ever be._ )

"You need to tell me what's wrong, that is the only way you'll be able to cope with anything."

"Fine. You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you. I can't do this anymore." She says, looking down at her hands. "This life of being a shinobi, it's not something I can do anymore. The harassment, the names, the way I'm underestimated." Her tears never stop. "Why couldn't I have been normal Tobirama? Why couldn't I have been like my sister?" If she was, then her parents would not have ignored her and treated her like a no one. " _I hate this life!_ "

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Her face flies up to meet his and she is shocked to see the anger in his eyes. "Where is the Akari I know that wanted to prove her family wrong? Where is the girl that stood up to people twice her age to protect someone? Where is the girl that wanted to protect this Clan?" He demands to know.

At his question, she feels her anger overpower all the coldness and sadness. "…Where is that girl?" She says in a cold monotonous voice despite the varying array of emotions flying throughout her body. "She _died_ when she learned that despite wanting to protect something, she needed to kill. That damn girl _died_ when she had to take her first fucking _life!_ " She screams.

But this does not answer his question. He grabs her shoulders and let's go of this emotion that he has been keeping at bay for so long. "Where the hell is the girl that I fell in _love with then?!_ "

Both of their eyes widen the moment he asks his question. She cannot seem to comprehend his question for a few seconds ( _what the hell did he just say?_ ) She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. They stay like that for a few seconds before she feels a new emotion erupting within the mess that she already is.

 _Doubt_.

"Is…Is this something sick fucking _joke_ to you?!" There is a new wave of tears but now, it is because of humiliation ( _this is not about her job as a shinobi anymore, this is about their life_.)

He lets out a sound of frustration before grabbing her. "No, it's not." He says before he places his hand on her cheek. "It never was." Before she can pull away, he brings his lips down onto hers.

They are soft, yet firm. She remains unresponsive, her mind going a million miles a minute. He pulls away a second later and she can only think of one thing.

He… _loves_ her?

But before she can say or ask anything, he pulls her into a hug. "Now tell me what happened today."

Red, she sees red eyes and she sees everything in ruins she sees death she sees everything and everyone gone –

"A genjutsu," Her voice comes out hoarse. "I was put into a genjutsu." She tells him of her vision, of what that Uchiha showed her. She tells him that and more.

On this night, there were no more secrets between the two. She tells him of her feelings and he does too. And on this night, they not only have their first kiss but their second under the clear night sky while the full moon watches as a witness to their love.

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 **A/N:** _Hey guys! I'm sorry that this chapter came out so late but I had finals and then after that I was going through some shit so I'm sorry! The follower notification that I would get whenever someone new followed/favorited made me so guilty! I also had a writer's block which made everything like ten times worse too so…_

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I can't promise when the next one will come out but I'll make sure that it doesn't take too long because I have so many new ideas for new stories but I really want to get the ones I have already done first!_

 _So please favorite/follow if you haven't done so already and don't forget to review!_

 _Until next time!~_


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